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ReptileGuy

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About ReptileGuy

  • Birthday December 2

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    NJ
  • Interests
    Thrill Rides

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About Me

You're walking in the woods


There's no one around and your phone is dead


Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him


Shia LaBeouf



He's following you about thirty feet back


He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint


He's gaining on you


Shia LaBeouf


You're looking for your car but you're all turned around


He's almost upon you now, and you can see there's blood on his face


My God, there's blood everywhere!



Running for your life


From Shia Labeouf


He's brandishing a knife


It's Shia Labeouf


Lurking in the shadows


Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf


Living in the woods


Shia Labeouf


Killing for sport


Shia Labeouf


Eating all the bodies


Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf



Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him


But you're hopelessly lost yourself


Stranded with a murderer


You creep silently through the underbrush


Aha! In the distance


A small cottage with a light on


Hope!


You move stealthily toward it


But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap!



Gnawing off your leg


Quiet, quiet


Limping toward the cottage


Quiet, quiet


Now you're on the doorstep


Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf


Sharpening an axe


Shia Labeouf


But he doesn't hear you enter


Shia Labeouf


You're sneaking up behind him...


Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf


Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf


Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf


Stab it in his kidney


Safe at last from Shia Labeouf



You limp into the dark woods


Blood oozing from your stump leg


You've beaten Shia Labeouf



Wait! He isn't dead, Shia surprise!


There's a gun to your head


And death in his eyes


But you can do Jiu Jitsu


(You can do it)


Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf


Legendary fight with Shia Labeouf


Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf


You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf


But blood is draining fast from your stump leg


He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left


You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck


You're chopping off his head now...


You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf



His head topples to the floor, expressionless


You fall to your knees and catch your breath


You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf

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